Ninja

BARNEGAT, N.J.—It's the case of the nonexistent ninja. Public schools in Barnegat were locked down briefly after someone reported seeing a ninja running through the woods behind an elementary school.

Turns out the ninja was actually a camp counselor dressed in black karate garb and carrying a plastic sword.

FAIL

Fail Phone

JUNE 23--Meet Jeffrey Barrier. The Ohio man allegedly used a cell phone camera to snap photos of a naked woman at a tanning salon Saturday and then hid the phone in his anus in a bid to thwart police.

FAIL

Fail Depot

JUNE 13--A St. Louis man claims that he was injured last year after being glued to a toilet seat in a Home Depot and is suing the retail giant for negligence. Haywood Rosales, 31, charges that during an August 2007 visit to a Home Depot in Florissant, Missouri he used a store bathroom and came into contact with a toilet seat "covered with adhesive," according to his Circuit Court lawsuit.

When Rosales stood up, the complaint asserts, he "received cuts, bruises, and tearing on his buttocks and thighs," and subsequently "endured the embarrassment, pain, and suffering of the initial injury and its concomitant treatment."

FAIL

Diaper

NEW ORLEANS -- A man wore a diaper full of heroin until police searched him, officers said.

According to a statement from New Orleans U.S. Attorney Jim Letten, Frank Keys Jr. has been charged with possession with intent to distribute more than 100 grams of heroin, reported WDSU-TV in New Orleans.

FAIL

Failection

BUCHAREST (Reuters) - The residents of a Romanian village knowingly voted in a dead man as their mayor in Sunday's municipal election, preferring him to his living opponent.

"I know he died, but I don't want change," a pro-Ivascu villager told Romanian television.

FAIL

Drunk Mom

A PATROL officer has stopped a car for suspicious driving and found to his surprise a drunk mother had let her one-year-old son take the wheel.

"Let's be honest, a one-year-old child doesn't have the skill to drive a car. We all know that," Ms Storer said.

FAIL

SOTP Again

A road crew in Stockton doing repairs at Royal Oaks Drive wants you to "SOTP."

FAIL